When you create for a living, the space you create in is essential to the process of creating. Too often we think of the “space” being: a clean room, studio, natural light, openness of the area, etc. But how often do we consider the “space” to be our minds? For me, it’s rare.
“I love how you’re not scared to try anything”, my great friend and talented producer Gold Haze says to me via text, in response to a video I sent to our group chat of me DJing at home. Starting has never really been an issue for me. Research, motivation, the “fuck it, let’s see” mind state, I have all of that. But there’s something that derails almost every venture in my life: perfectionism.
This is what’ll happen: I start something, I like it, show some friends, they like it, the project gets the green light, I put it out, people like it, I do it for a bit, etc. Then, I get an overwhelming feeling that if I don’t scale this up immediately and make it the best thing it can possibly be by tomorrow damn near it is essentially trash and needs to be done away with. Basically, I quit on my projects often instead of making gradual scaling plans that coincide with the pace I'm naturally working at.
A lot of times this pains me. Friends will ask, “Jordan, why don't you do ‘The Conversation’ anymore?” or mention other projects I ended while they had great momentum. These interactions add to the negative self talk I have going on internally regarding these projects. I want to make everything I do big and grand. I feel defeated when I can’t make that happen in the snap of a finger. It makes me feel like I’m pushing a lousy product when in reality, like most things in life, my projects just need attention, focus, care, love, thought, and the space to grow over time.
I’m still looking for ways to combat this. The simple fact of writing out these thoughts and feelings about the matter feels like combatting it already. I just can’t forget to give myself space and opportunity for that growth to take place.
I was curious to see if other artists thought about these things as well. Like most things in life, you’re never alone. Here’s some incredible artists thoughts on perfectionism:
Ron Louis (@Ron_louis) - I definitely deal with perfectionism and obsessive tendencies in general. Once I have an idea that I feel in my gut I should or want to see if I can do it I immediately try it and if it doesn’t come out exactly how I imagined I don’t share the idea or design. It could be perfectly fine to others and I’ll hate it. I haven’t made or released too many items I absolutely love and that’s due to my relationship with perfectionism. The flip side of battling with it is that I’m constantly pushing myself and found a medium when it comes to actually releasing things.
I think it goes both ways for me like I said before. One side I sometimes hold out on ideas and might see someone release something similar and it goes well and it could be not as well executed as the idea I think is “just not right”, that’s always interesting for me to see. I think it helps me make the best product I can with the resources I have. Once I feel like I did the best I could with the idea I just leave it there and move on to create something better in my opinion. I just keep working at it and just like any emotion I deal with, I sit with the feeling, look for solutions, and do my best. If it gets figured out or not I just let it go after I try my best to keep working at it and I learned that sometimes your timing is off. Keep the idea and be prepared to have the resources to execute it later. Having faith and believing in the future helps me let the feeling go.
Bianca Garcia (@helloimbiancaa) - I would like to believe I am a perfectionist in every aspect of my life but even more so when it comes to my photography. It’s a suffocating trait to have in a sense that nothing will ever be good enough. I will be editing the same photo for days and even when it’s done and looks physically perfect I will always find things that I am not happy with. It makes me work harder but I’m mentally and physically exhausted everyday because I know people now expect my work and retouching to be immaculate.
Drew Brown (@thefilmlord) - Do I struggle with perfectionism? Yes, of course. It comes with the territory of being an artist and actually getting paid to think outside the box. When you have a certain mentality based on what someone sees as perfection. You may try to carry that over to future projects based on how good or how bad something turned out.
My perfectionism comes in composition. I have, like, OCD when it comes to shots that I do or shots that I want to use. I have to make sure that lines are straight and crossed and there is a centerpoint to most of the shots. Along with how clear something can be.
The perfectionist trait can be helpful and harmful. It can be helpful in a manner of making sure that all your eyes are dotted and your T‘s are crossed when it comes to the little things. It can be harmful by sometimes never knowing when to walk away from a project. I just learn to walk away from projects when a customer is satisfied and not to make everything personal. Because the customer is who matters most.
When it comes to perfectionism I sort of let it play its course. It actually helps me when it comes to details in production. It really does act as a handicap when I’m looking to get things done. I may stress over the little details but the little details are what people notice the most.
Gold Haze (@goldxhaze) - my process helps me a lot as an artist & a producer. Throughout my years of putting together projects, I’ve learned that it’s best to release more material to the people as possible because there’s always room for growth. There will always be more ideas to learn & do in the future. That’s the fun part. As a creative we’re all sensitive about our work but with that being said if we don’t release how will we grow in a sense? People always ask how do I always remain consistent in my space? The answer is simply not overthinking & putting it out when it feels right. I understand everyone’s process is different but I’ve learned way more about myself by releasing music/projects to the public rather than holding everything for years & taking way too long to perfect it. We’ve seen the downside of being a perfectionist & how it can hold an artist back. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time to put ideas & things together but life is not promised forever. Put the shit out.
Amanda Ruano (@thiccnvegancookies) - The perfectionist trait can be harmful to my creative process. It causes me to not fully focus on my project's objective, but rather meet a standard. It pushes me to compare my work to others with the possibility of devaluing my creative process and myself. The comparison gets so much bigger than my project and their project, but also my experience vs. them, my background vs. them, and me vs. them. Then it sparks the lack of motivation. Now, my creative process is not as hindered by the perfectionist trait because I have learned my creative process is different than others which will result in what I produce, and the outcome can not be duplicated.
Kin Marie (@kinnmarie) - I definitely struggle with perfectionism especially being in the career path that I’m following, art direction can be very tedious at times and therefore can lead to a lot of overthinking, over analyzing, and definitely many other common perfectionist traits that aren’t the best.
I’m not going to lie, my perfectionist trait does come in handy when I need it the most. I definitely am a person that can move more comfortably when I’m clear on what my role is for something, and also when I have a clear layout of whatever it is that I’m doing or creating. And with that need, often times leads to a need for me to create systems and organizational structures that can help me do everything that I want to do. But sometimes what I want or envision can be so much that I don’t really take into consideration what I need to do personally, in order to properly take on certain things in a way that gets the job done while also providing myself space to breathe. That perfectionist behavior can often times give me the results that I’m looking for, which is great… But also can result in boundaries that have been crossed or burn out or self sabotage due to the feeling of that burn out. Because often times when you have perfectionist traits and you begin to experience that burn out, that often can transmute into imposter syndrome or disappointment that you don’t have the efficiency that is presented to you through social media or other professional and creative environments from the outside looking in.
I’ve had to learn how to be honest with myself. And sometimes that means talking to myself like I am the child version of who I once was. I learned that a lot of my struggles that I have now are connected to my experiences from the past growing into who I am right now. My sense of perfectionism comes from circumstances in school, personal experiences with family, rejections that I internalized, or even rejections that I have protected myself from out of fear before even seeing if I would get rejected or not. I have to remind myself that everybody is on their own personal journey, and that it makes absolutely no sense to compare myself to other people who are going through completely different human experiences. In order for me to grow and flourish it’s not about creating these perfect structures where I’m producing in a mechanic way. That completely diminishes the creative and honest process of making the things that you want in this world. You have to see what genuinely works for you. You have to face yourself and be honest about the things that you hide from, the things that you naturally reject, the organizational structures that just do not work for you, the things that you do and do not understand so that you can create an environment for yourself where you are genuinely learning and growing into the person you want to be, the creative you want to be or whomever. I’ve learned to be more gentle with myself when everything doesn’t go exactly the way that I want to. I’m learning that there’s only 24 hours in a day, and as long as I’m alive I have an opportunity at any and every moment to continue to grow into the person that I always have known deep down inside that I am. That reminder alone, keeps me from projecting my insecurities and fears through perfectionist traits that ultimately do not serve me.
Mars Jones (@dorightmars) - The perfectionist trait is harmful for me and my practice because it keeps me thinking for too long on whatever I’m creating. I’m a firm believer in not rushing to put work out, but perfectionism can be debilitating.
I believe that some of the most pure forms of art & creation come directly from the soul in real-time so things like a great Jazz session, freestyle rap and dance battles are beautiful and inspiring to witness. Same with me as a DJ- I really just let things flow. When it comes to art & design, I’m forced to stare at work for too long sometimes and I begin to tinker too much and nitpick. So many ideas have been shelved and scrapped over the years but now I have a group of trusted peers who give great constructive feedback and also understand what my vision and voice is so I lean into peer reviews whenever I’m stuck in a rut.
Honestly the best stuff is usually either super detailed and intentional or free-flowing and raw in my opinion so I try to let go and let God these days. If it’s hot, it’ll connect & if it doesn’t then at least I didn’t wait 6 months to drop something that fell flat anyways and I’m already on to working on the next idea.